Breaking news!! Really?

About a week ago I got a phone call and the conversation was based around my past. Unintentionally, my aunt overheard the conversation and immediately I came off the phone there arose the question. When did all that happen? It was like a breaking news, or was it really?

I will release your eagerness of letting you know what happened in my past life. It was full of a lot of things, some which many may agree a child should never face. But the reality is that it does happen, and often when noticed, it's too late. Some may even say its the parents fault, but for someone like me who never grew up with a mum by my side or my father actually building a relationship with me, my life was already destined for failure. Don't get me wrong, I got everything I wanted from my dad materialistically, but that love, guidance and security I hoped for was never fulfilled.

From growing up as a child in Sierra Leone to coming to England, there was always huge gaps in my life that no one could fill up, not even myself could piece together why I had to go through such things. Getting pregnant, abuse, hurt, neglect, and many other things were amongst some of the issues I faced as a child/teenager. And to be honest it's not an easy thing to share with you, but because I've now overcome all that, opening up to such things is now a privilege for me and I hope that you can somehow learn something from this.

Like my Aunty, many parents are unaware of the problems their child/children face and till this day my parents do not have a clue of the abuse I went through in my own house. I was very young and I didn't really have much idea on what was happening and to be sincere, I thought it was all ok and for that reason never really opened up to anyone. My point here is not to blab on about what happened to me but how this later affected me in life as I then resulted to finding 'love' in guys older than me who only took advantage of my body. And so I ended up getting pregnant twice at age 15 and 16.

So why is it that my Aunty found it strange, I mean a lot of girls go through this right? Well I guess it's not much of a breaking news then is it? What I'm trying to say is if all of these things is not new to society why does it still keep happening? There are a lot of unanswered questions but if you are going through any of this, speak, open up and share with someone who can help you. I eventually opened up because I couldn't keep so much hurt inside of me anymore. And for you parents, be that best friend your child can always confide in, be there to have an appropriate relationship with them and if you do want to talk to someone you can call this number 02076866000 and there'll be someone there to help you as best as they could.

The BiG but!

There was always a 'but' when I thought of starting a blog. In fact, this blog would not have been present if I had not overcome this 'but'. The truth is, I was afraid of the criticism and judgement others may have about me; and so whenever the idea would come, I had an excuse to doubt myself and eventually never did start the blog. And to think, this doubt started just because someone told me that 'I did not have the correct English to become a journalist'. Yes! I had low self esteem; and for that reason I went into a shell and kept myself hidden. That's when all the doubts flew in! but what if no one ever views it, but your English is not good enough, but people will laugh at you, and so they kept coming.

I presume you must be asking yourself, how did she overcome this? Well! It took a lot of thinking, courage and analysis of myself. Overcoming that barrier of being afraid to do what I had a desire to. Then the thoughts starting flowing, BUT what if I can do this blog and people like it? BUT what if with this blog I can help change the lives of others? BUT what if this is my opportunity to show that language barriers cannot stop you from achieving your goals and dreams in life? I realised that others may not always be supportive of my ideas but with determination and persistence, me and YOU are capable of reaching our goals.

Ha! You got it now right?
Don't ever allow a negative thought, comment or any form of doubt, limit you from achieving your dreams. For every if and but, always know and believe that there is a possibility. No matter the situation you're in, the things you may not have and the barriers that may seem impossible to break, YOU can. And there's nothing that can stop you. Literally!

How it all started

Writing has always been the best way I can express myself. But why did it take me this long to start a blog? I must say that laziness had been my greatest weakness until I came across action. It was this action that has brought me here today re-leaving what had always been on my mind.

I found writing to be the best way I could express myself, describing the sensitive ordeals of my young life, hoping that one day I could share with others what might be the endless light to the tunnel. Although my allowances did not permit me to buy a proper diary; I made use of the little papers and note pads I could find, and eventually it all came to an end. I was 15 when I stopped writing which was not very long after I started, but I soon realised what was the beginning of a never-ending story line. So here I am today composing with you my first ever analogy to a future full of exciting commentaries and below is a sneak peak of one of my early note pads; with its contents soon to be revealed.

I do not want to bore you already as there is much more to come of this writer. Stay alert for I'll be here to explore with you on this journey. Although I do not promise to be here everyday, my best is what I'll give you and a weekly update is definitely promised. 

Till we meet again